There is a voice inside of me, quiet, almost still. It is a
strange voice, yet somehow, I know it well. It has been ignored, neglected, and
even at times silenced. But I feel it awakening once again. Ever so slowly it
is beginning to become louder and louder. I’m terrified to listen, but I know
that to ignore it any longer will be even more frightening.
Time has taught me to silence that voice. Expectations of
others have formed their own voices inside of me that yell and seek to have me
follow their ways. Self-doubt has sewn seeds of mistrust. Fear or rejection,
fear of disappointment, fear of loneliness has driven me so forcibly down a
path without truly stopping to listen to that voice, my own soul, and my inner
compass that knows me better than anyone in this world, even myself. What will
happen if I begin to heed its direction? I have no idea. I am terrified of
relinquishing preconceived notions of my life. I am terrified of exploring my
deepest self…what will I discover? What demons will I unearth? What light will
begin to shine forth?
Inner Nature….the true source of self. The admittance of “Things
Are as They Are”. Ignorance and neglect of this nature leads everyone to
sorrow, confusion and pain. When we listen, when we accept, when we embrace
everything “as it is”, we begin to see real change. We begin to appreciate the
individual beauty and suppleness of every soul and every form of life in this
world. If we begin to explore and discover our own inner nature, we become
changed forever. We find humility in admitting our limitations, and power in
understanding what we can and cannot do about those limitations. We find courage
and self-acceptance as we discover the power we hold within us, the force for
good and light.
It is unfortunate that we become so consumed with a “higher
goal” or “grand reward” that we forget that we are here on a journey. A journey
to find joy, love and beauty. A journey in which we have the capacity to do
good and change the world, even in a small way. Life should not be lived in
fear, in a constant rush to aim higher, be better, or conform to our society’s
definition of who we ought to be. Life was meant to be cherished, to be the
greatest experience of our eternal souls. When we sit back, become quiet and
still, and listen to that inner voice that is connected with the source of all
truth, we can find direction, purpose and peace in this life.
Too often we cause ourselves pain. Fear and pride lead us to
these places and frequently keep us there. What might happen if we let go of
fear? If we let go of our definition of “the way things SHOULD be”. Things are
as they are….we cannot change what is. We can only change our reaction, our
appreciation and acceptance of those facts. If we allow ourselves to gently
ride the current of life, travel with it through the ups, downs, twists, and
turns, we will find that we will reach our destination with fewer bruises. When
we fight against the current, when we deny who we are and what we are capable
of, we do ourselves a disservice. We spend our lives aspiring to be someone
else and miss the beautiful truth that WE are glorious even in our
imperfections.
We are not defined by the darkness or the light that resides
in us. We are defined of our use of that darkness and light. Our weakness can
become sources of strength if we stop trying to make them disappear. If we can,
instead, learn to work with them and redirect their energy, we will find that
they can be forces of change in us. Just as powerful is the acceptance of our
light. Of our own unique abilities and qualities. Our Inner Nature is begging
that we stop trying to be who we are not and instead embrace who we are. We
were never meant to be as another. We were meant to be our purest and most
powerful self.
I am allowing my journey to lead me to my Inner Nature and
allow that voice to guide the rest of my life. I am finished with walking the
path “I think” I’m supposed to walk. I am determined to enter the path I was
always meant to travel and embrace the wonders that path will discover. This is
key to joy and the key to happiness. To walk my true path and embrace my true
self.
