Huh....guess I did learn something

The roller coaster continues...As my good friend put it last night "Life dosen't cease making you live it". Just when I think things in my life are going my way, and settling down, Heavenly Father throws me a curve ball. I guess he just likes to keep me on my toes. I'm sitting here, alone at the computer, with only my thoughts to keep me company. Such has been the pattern of the day. As I ponder upon the events of the last few months, and even the last year, I can't help but wonder when these things will work to my good. When will the lessons I have learned reward me?

I realize; however, that I have learned from my past. The trials I faced almost a year ago, have impacted me and I realize that there lingering calouses have blunted the pains of today. I am stronger. I am wiser. I am different. Experiences that once would have dragged me to an inch of destruction, now barely cause me to trip and kiss a small sting. Horrible as my past was, discouraging as my present has been, I know that all will be well. I know that I will not be moved. I am a product of my experiences, and they have made a more stubborn, tough, relentless individual. They have simply driven me to have high expectations and low tollerances.

Some may say these new attributes are undesirable, too harsh. I boldly dissagree. Was it not a prophet himself that said "When I was a child I thought as a child, and spoke as a child, but now that I am a man I put off childish things."? Well when I was young, and inexperienced, my ideas and opinions of the world were overly opptimistic, and far to saturated in romantisicm. Now that I have a few hard years under my belt, I have given up these childish idealistic dreams. I understand the world better, and am thus prepared to handle what it throws at me.

I still believe, I still have hope, and I seek to find meaning and happiness in my life. But no longer do I believe that my life will play out like a fairytale. This is not my lot. Maybe one day the Lord will change that tune, but until his all knowing hand reaches out and alters the course of my path, I will face the challenges of my story, head on. I am not the damsel in distress. I am the heroin. I am my own savior. And with my God at my side I need not wait for life to send me a lucky break. I will make it the hard way. I will weave my own success, despite the adversary's tries to thwart me.

This have I learned, that I am the author of my own happiness. That I control what I will become. I choose to rise in the tourent of adversity. I choose to believe it will in the end, be for my good. I have learned. I have learned.