It never ceases to amaze me how quickly life can change. Sometimes time chooses to take the slow road and it would seem that nothing new lurks in our horizon. Other times it decides to surprise us, and in an instant everything in our life has flipped. Often one surprise variable can be the changing factor in our personal journey.
Such a curve-ball has come my way. I didn't see it, didn't guess it, couldn't believe it when it hit me and knocked me of my game. But, oh what a curve-ball it was. It's changing my life, and I couldn't be more grateful.
The whirlwind that I find myself in now...the absolute storm that has swept me off my feet, is threatening to take my breath away. And I couldn't be happier with where it's spinning me. I'm scared and unsure of many things...but I can't ignore what I'm feeling and what's starting to form. I don't know the future...but if the present is any indication, then I can't wait to find out.
That's the scariest thing about curve-balls and whirlwinds...you didn't plan for or really expect them, so you're not sure how to handle them sometimes. I'm trying not t fight it, trying to let myself go. It am so happy..so very happy. I don't know what the future holds, but I have very high hopes.
Only that faithful entity called time will tell where this new adventure will go. I can only hold my breath, keep my fingers crossed, and pray for the best outcome. Here's to the unknown!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Blue
Soo....I'm feeling kind of blue. And there are many reasons why. Trevor is leaving, I miss some of my friends, and I'm feeling a bit lost again. I really don't know what path I need to take right now, and it's killing me to go back and forth between my options. I wish I could just get a clear cut answer, but unfortunately life rarely works that way.
I guess the thing to do now is just get some sleep. The world always looks better in the morning.
So this was a short and shallow post...oh well. Goodnight everyone.
I guess the thing to do now is just get some sleep. The world always looks better in the morning.
So this was a short and shallow post...oh well. Goodnight everyone.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
I Think I Finally Figured It Out
I had an amazing day today. Wait, correction, I had an amazing week. I don't know what it was about it, I only know that I've been reflecting all day at how blissfully happy I am. I feel on top of the world right now, and I'm loving life.
I think my mood is not because of the fun and eventful days I've enjoyed; rather, I think it's due to simply my attitude on the world around me. You see....I think I finally figured it out.
The key to happiness.
Life isn't perfect right now, and there are still so many unknowns ahead of me. School is crazy and hectic, my friends are getting married left and right, I still don't know what I am going to do after May, and my love life seems as fruitless as tree in winter...yet, I am happy. I am positive. Why is that?
A year ago I did not feel this way. I was getting ready to move back to Florida and take a leap of faith that would end up dropping me in a hole. I was stressed, lonely, and a little lost. I had lost sight of who I was...I was angry and sad. I was different.
Yet now things have flipped a 180. My circumstances are still not too different, but I as a person, am. I have finally figured out that I control my journey. It's true I don't have much say in the obstacles that are thrown in my way, but I still have control of my wheel. I don't know where the road will go, but I'll take it in stride and cherish every moment. Because, I have learned that the outcome of my life is entirely dependent upon the energy I give to it. I can chose to sulk and cry "ah me", or I can hold my head tall and say "Bring it on". I can choose to bear every event, good or bad, with a hopeful and confident attitude, for I know full well that things are never as bad as they seem.
The difference between the successful and the average is this: the average take what they're given and let it change and define them. The successful take what they're given and then they change and define IT. They are the makers of there own lives.
That's the key. That simple truth.
Happiness is dependent on Me.
I think my mood is not because of the fun and eventful days I've enjoyed; rather, I think it's due to simply my attitude on the world around me. You see....I think I finally figured it out.
The key to happiness.
Life isn't perfect right now, and there are still so many unknowns ahead of me. School is crazy and hectic, my friends are getting married left and right, I still don't know what I am going to do after May, and my love life seems as fruitless as tree in winter...yet, I am happy. I am positive. Why is that?
A year ago I did not feel this way. I was getting ready to move back to Florida and take a leap of faith that would end up dropping me in a hole. I was stressed, lonely, and a little lost. I had lost sight of who I was...I was angry and sad. I was different.
Yet now things have flipped a 180. My circumstances are still not too different, but I as a person, am. I have finally figured out that I control my journey. It's true I don't have much say in the obstacles that are thrown in my way, but I still have control of my wheel. I don't know where the road will go, but I'll take it in stride and cherish every moment. Because, I have learned that the outcome of my life is entirely dependent upon the energy I give to it. I can chose to sulk and cry "ah me", or I can hold my head tall and say "Bring it on". I can choose to bear every event, good or bad, with a hopeful and confident attitude, for I know full well that things are never as bad as they seem.
The difference between the successful and the average is this: the average take what they're given and let it change and define them. The successful take what they're given and then they change and define IT. They are the makers of there own lives.
That's the key. That simple truth.
Happiness is dependent on Me.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
There is no place like Home!
After a long day of traveling, I finally landed on my home ground and walked out into the beautiful Florida night. I hardly have the ability to describe the ecstasy and relief I felt upon seeing my brother pull up in our familiar red Altima. Nor dare I try to explain the peace and joy I felt being once again in the state I love.
Home. There is something sacred in that word, some unidentifiable element that evokes such feeling and emotion in the soul of the one who utters it. To me, it means love. To me, it means sanctuary.
Please, do not misunderstand my meaning. I enjoyed the two weeks I spent in the winter valley of Salt Lake City. I will always cherish the rare and priceless memories I shared with dear friends, family members, and loved ones. I laughed and reminisced with some, cried with others, and learned lessons through it all. I will not soon forget the trip.
But, to be home. To walk the familiar halls of my family's dwelling, and to hear the sounds of those people I love most....it takes my breath away.
You may think me over-dramatic, but then I say you do not know my home. You do not know the souls of those whom I call my family, nor have you sensed the almost holy spirit that dwells within these humble walls. This is my world, my everything. These people have stood with me with unwavering loyalty. These walls have sheltered me through all storms. This place is my fortress. These souls are my greatest allies.
It has only been two days since I came back, yet the peace and happiness I have felt rivals that of all the feelings of the previous two weeks combined.
Truly....there is no place like home.
Home. There is something sacred in that word, some unidentifiable element that evokes such feeling and emotion in the soul of the one who utters it. To me, it means love. To me, it means sanctuary.
Please, do not misunderstand my meaning. I enjoyed the two weeks I spent in the winter valley of Salt Lake City. I will always cherish the rare and priceless memories I shared with dear friends, family members, and loved ones. I laughed and reminisced with some, cried with others, and learned lessons through it all. I will not soon forget the trip.
But, to be home. To walk the familiar halls of my family's dwelling, and to hear the sounds of those people I love most....it takes my breath away.
You may think me over-dramatic, but then I say you do not know my home. You do not know the souls of those whom I call my family, nor have you sensed the almost holy spirit that dwells within these humble walls. This is my world, my everything. These people have stood with me with unwavering loyalty. These walls have sheltered me through all storms. This place is my fortress. These souls are my greatest allies.
It has only been two days since I came back, yet the peace and happiness I have felt rivals that of all the feelings of the previous two weeks combined.
Truly....there is no place like home.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Huh....guess I did learn something
The roller coaster continues...As my good friend put it last night "Life dosen't cease making you live it". Just when I think things in my life are going my way, and settling down, Heavenly Father throws me a curve ball. I guess he just likes to keep me on my toes. I'm sitting here, alone at the computer, with only my thoughts to keep me company. Such has been the pattern of the day. As I ponder upon the events of the last few months, and even the last year, I can't help but wonder when these things will work to my good. When will the lessons I have learned reward me?
I realize; however, that I have learned from my past. The trials I faced almost a year ago, have impacted me and I realize that there lingering calouses have blunted the pains of today. I am stronger. I am wiser. I am different. Experiences that once would have dragged me to an inch of destruction, now barely cause me to trip and kiss a small sting. Horrible as my past was, discouraging as my present has been, I know that all will be well. I know that I will not be moved. I am a product of my experiences, and they have made a more stubborn, tough, relentless individual. They have simply driven me to have high expectations and low tollerances.
Some may say these new attributes are undesirable, too harsh. I boldly dissagree. Was it not a prophet himself that said "When I was a child I thought as a child, and spoke as a child, but now that I am a man I put off childish things."? Well when I was young, and inexperienced, my ideas and opinions of the world were overly opptimistic, and far to saturated in romantisicm. Now that I have a few hard years under my belt, I have given up these childish idealistic dreams. I understand the world better, and am thus prepared to handle what it throws at me.
I still believe, I still have hope, and I seek to find meaning and happiness in my life. But no longer do I believe that my life will play out like a fairytale. This is not my lot. Maybe one day the Lord will change that tune, but until his all knowing hand reaches out and alters the course of my path, I will face the challenges of my story, head on. I am not the damsel in distress. I am the heroin. I am my own savior. And with my God at my side I need not wait for life to send me a lucky break. I will make it the hard way. I will weave my own success, despite the adversary's tries to thwart me.
This have I learned, that I am the author of my own happiness. That I control what I will become. I choose to rise in the tourent of adversity. I choose to believe it will in the end, be for my good. I have learned. I have learned.
I realize; however, that I have learned from my past. The trials I faced almost a year ago, have impacted me and I realize that there lingering calouses have blunted the pains of today. I am stronger. I am wiser. I am different. Experiences that once would have dragged me to an inch of destruction, now barely cause me to trip and kiss a small sting. Horrible as my past was, discouraging as my present has been, I know that all will be well. I know that I will not be moved. I am a product of my experiences, and they have made a more stubborn, tough, relentless individual. They have simply driven me to have high expectations and low tollerances.
Some may say these new attributes are undesirable, too harsh. I boldly dissagree. Was it not a prophet himself that said "When I was a child I thought as a child, and spoke as a child, but now that I am a man I put off childish things."? Well when I was young, and inexperienced, my ideas and opinions of the world were overly opptimistic, and far to saturated in romantisicm. Now that I have a few hard years under my belt, I have given up these childish idealistic dreams. I understand the world better, and am thus prepared to handle what it throws at me.
I still believe, I still have hope, and I seek to find meaning and happiness in my life. But no longer do I believe that my life will play out like a fairytale. This is not my lot. Maybe one day the Lord will change that tune, but until his all knowing hand reaches out and alters the course of my path, I will face the challenges of my story, head on. I am not the damsel in distress. I am the heroin. I am my own savior. And with my God at my side I need not wait for life to send me a lucky break. I will make it the hard way. I will weave my own success, despite the adversary's tries to thwart me.
This have I learned, that I am the author of my own happiness. That I control what I will become. I choose to rise in the tourent of adversity. I choose to believe it will in the end, be for my good. I have learned. I have learned.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
People need People
I realize I have really neglected my blog. I was talking to Autumn this week and said "I really need to get on and write again." She laughed and said it was funny that I talked like it was a chore. It definantly is not, but life keeps getting in the way it seems, and I just haven't taken the time to sit and write. Until now. :)
My thoughts have honestly been on people this week or so. There are so many kinds of people...Funny people, Smart people, Dumb as rocks people, Kind people, Giving people, Hard-working people, Rude people, Jack-of-trades people, and so on...and of course there are people who encompase many traits.
But the kind of people I have been thinking deeply about are the people in my life who I can't help but respect and love. There are some people out there who are just amazing, and I'm grateful to say I know many of them. These people have hearts of gold. They truely know how to care about others, and even more, they know how to live. They are wise in their own ways. They come from all walks of life. Poor, rich, old, and young. They simply astonish me, and I find myself learning from there very quiet examples.
My gracious Eternal Father has for some reason seen fit to place these angels in my life. I have met them at times where life was good and happy, and at times when everything seemed dark and hopeless. Some came for a season and time and reason, others have stayed in my life for years. These people are family, friends, confidants, mentors, and sometimes just patient ears and loving arms. I am so filled with love and deep emotion as I think about them.
I could tell so many stories about these people. I could tell about one friend who was there for me when all I seemed to do was call her and cry and cry, relieving my heart to her and probably neglecting her needs because all I could see were mine. I could tell about one friend who came to my rescue at 6 in the morning when I had no place to sleep, or about the friend who had me live with her for months, trying to give me the chance to find out who I was. I could tell about the friends who surprised me for my birthday even though they were all tired and worn-out that night. I could tell about the friends who just seem to cheer me up, make me laugh, and bask in moments of happiness. I could tell about the friends who taught me about myself, and helped me discover life. My parents...my brothers...the rocks of my life. The amazing people who have stood by me through thick and thin. They help me believe in myself, and give me hope and joy. So many stories and memories...but even if I were to tell them all, I'd fail to convey the impact on my life.
People....wonderful, wonderful people. This life can be a hard and difficult place, but with people like this on the road, it seems to be a fun walk to travel. I love these people. I respect these people. I need them all.
-Somtin' Girl
My thoughts have honestly been on people this week or so. There are so many kinds of people...Funny people, Smart people, Dumb as rocks people, Kind people, Giving people, Hard-working people, Rude people, Jack-of-trades people, and so on...and of course there are people who encompase many traits.
But the kind of people I have been thinking deeply about are the people in my life who I can't help but respect and love. There are some people out there who are just amazing, and I'm grateful to say I know many of them. These people have hearts of gold. They truely know how to care about others, and even more, they know how to live. They are wise in their own ways. They come from all walks of life. Poor, rich, old, and young. They simply astonish me, and I find myself learning from there very quiet examples.
My gracious Eternal Father has for some reason seen fit to place these angels in my life. I have met them at times where life was good and happy, and at times when everything seemed dark and hopeless. Some came for a season and time and reason, others have stayed in my life for years. These people are family, friends, confidants, mentors, and sometimes just patient ears and loving arms. I am so filled with love and deep emotion as I think about them.
I could tell so many stories about these people. I could tell about one friend who was there for me when all I seemed to do was call her and cry and cry, relieving my heart to her and probably neglecting her needs because all I could see were mine. I could tell about one friend who came to my rescue at 6 in the morning when I had no place to sleep, or about the friend who had me live with her for months, trying to give me the chance to find out who I was. I could tell about the friends who surprised me for my birthday even though they were all tired and worn-out that night. I could tell about the friends who just seem to cheer me up, make me laugh, and bask in moments of happiness. I could tell about the friends who taught me about myself, and helped me discover life. My parents...my brothers...the rocks of my life. The amazing people who have stood by me through thick and thin. They help me believe in myself, and give me hope and joy. So many stories and memories...but even if I were to tell them all, I'd fail to convey the impact on my life.
People....wonderful, wonderful people. This life can be a hard and difficult place, but with people like this on the road, it seems to be a fun walk to travel. I love these people. I respect these people. I need them all.
-Somtin' Girl
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Choices....dang.
Decision making.....It can be a scary process. How do you make a choice between good and exciting paths??
Within the last month or so, I've re-connected with different parts of my soul. I've begun to feel a deep longing and urge to pursue and develop traits and talents of mine. I'm longing for change, adventure, and success. I'm constantly praying now, and searching for answers. Should I make the jump and take the chance? What if it really is the wrong path to take? What if I miss out on other more important things??
I want happiness in my life. I've tried to do everything I can to bring happiness and joy into my life. At this moment, I have found a profound sense of peace. A peace that for so long I was seeking for. Not everything in my life is the way I wish it could be, and there is a lot of unkown factors that I have no control over, but I am calm. I have a good outlook on the future. I'm trusting in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
I don't want to mess with this feeling. I've learned that the only way to really have happiness is by following the path that Heavenly Father want's me to walk. So what road is next for me? Where would He have me go?? And how will I really know?
So much to think about...so much to ponder and debate. What will I do? What does the next chapter of my story tell?
Thoughts anyone...????
Within the last month or so, I've re-connected with different parts of my soul. I've begun to feel a deep longing and urge to pursue and develop traits and talents of mine. I'm longing for change, adventure, and success. I'm constantly praying now, and searching for answers. Should I make the jump and take the chance? What if it really is the wrong path to take? What if I miss out on other more important things??
I want happiness in my life. I've tried to do everything I can to bring happiness and joy into my life. At this moment, I have found a profound sense of peace. A peace that for so long I was seeking for. Not everything in my life is the way I wish it could be, and there is a lot of unkown factors that I have no control over, but I am calm. I have a good outlook on the future. I'm trusting in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
I don't want to mess with this feeling. I've learned that the only way to really have happiness is by following the path that Heavenly Father want's me to walk. So what road is next for me? Where would He have me go?? And how will I really know?
So much to think about...so much to ponder and debate. What will I do? What does the next chapter of my story tell?
Thoughts anyone...????
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