Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Don't

Don't judge me when you see me, don't assume when you haven't asked. 
Don't pretend you know my journey, when you're ignorant of my past.
Don't try to be a guru, and tell me what to do.
Don't believe you understand me, until you've walked in my shoes.

Don't tell me I'm an angel, before you know what's in my head.
Don't dare call me a devil, until you've seen the tears I've shed.
Don't compare your life's story, to mine in any way.
Don't believe you have me figured, until you've heard what I have to say.

Don't laugh at my struggles, and don't envy what I've gained.
Don't mock my living heart ache, until you've witnessed my pain.
Don't believe every smile, that crosses my blank face.
Don't think that I don't pretend, and rely on hidden grace.

Don't befriend me on the surface, then send stabs behind my back.
Don't think you can teach me, to make up for what I lack.
Don't tell me pretty words, that you think I want to hear.
Don't put a mask to hide yourself, and think we can be near.

Don't think you know me better, than myself and God above.
Don't try to offer anything, except your unfeigned love.
Don't try to be a hero, and don't try to be a saint.
Don't live a life in such a way to be something that you ain't.

There's too much to each of us to try and place a name.
All we can is love and laugh, and play life like a game.
So Don't take life too seriously, and worry through and through.
Let go, don't hold on, and allow love to change you.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

In the Dead of Night

In the dead of night I find myself, arrested with such suffocating fright. I can't stop the thoughts in my mind racing and turning. I can't stop worrying about everything that is on my shoulders.  I feel like I'm letting so many people down, and I wish I could be superwoman and save everyone and everything. I don't know how to turn my mind off. I don't know how to stop the dread that is in my heart. I don't know how to finally feel the peace that I'm so desperately seeking for.

I don't know how to let go. I don't know how to find the secret that will relinquish the torment of my days...in the dead of night I find myself wishing for a solution that seems so far away.

Friday, December 28, 2012

A Tribute to a Setting Sun

The sun sets on another beautiful day. The hours of a moment pass in quiet solemnity as thoughts echo with each fading ray. Such a glorious setting, inspiring the joy of stars and the sorrow of a long night; it is the setting that must happen, for each of us. It is the setting of our day, the closing of a story, of a life, beautiful and memorable and individual. 

A sun set early on the eve of the most joyful and celebrated birth in history. It’s majestic and quite descent filled watching eyes and hearts with sorrow, emptiness, and peace. The bittersweet taste of a farewell and of a long awaited reunion lingers in each of those who knew. The chilling dusk that settles around gives rise to echoes of doubts and fears. 

Could more have been done? Could this life have been more beautiful? Should more effort have been made to place memories upon this wonderful soul? These thoughts plague the grieving hearts. Regret of lost hours, lost moments, of lost chances that will never return until our own setting. Each mind reflects and can’t help but wish for a longer day. It is the curse of those who days have not ended. To wonder as they watch a piece of them fade into night. 

But, as the darkness begins to press onward, and threaten to forever linger before our eyes, glimmers of light appear in the black above. Stars. Containing rays, of truth, of beauty, they glimmer in peaceful memory, as if to call our minds on the light that left them. A moon arises, casting its comforting glow. These heavenly specters appear as if to answer our call and need. Hearts are comforted as they see the distant hope. 

Each life ends with the passing of a sun. Each day, no matter how wonderful, or how good, will close in the same way. With a quite setting, and a rising night, we are reminded, that here and now time must pass. Was it all for nothing? Will the setting and night be forever the end; the end of our friends, the end of our loves, the end of us? 

Within the night we find our answer. The very stars seem to sing, the moon ring, with the promise that the night to all our days will some day break into twilight. Light will appear and then the rising of a new sun will herald a glorious reunion. 

The Son. The joyous promise His rising will bring. To each of us a new dawn will shine. After the period of dark distance, we will be all reunited in glorious sun rise. Every memory, every loving heart will return to their affections and all will be re-born in a mighty and never-ending day. For now, we wait for that breaking. 

For now we watch as stars appear and as our own days continue softly on. We will never forget the warmth of the setting sun. It will carry us through dark hours and help us until all is new.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Christmas is here

As the air grows still and silent with a bitter cold chill, my heart tightens, it swells, and it grows heavy with thoughts and memories long since passed. Why, during the most wonderful time of the year, do I feel a weight constrict my chest and threaten to darken my eyes? What is it about this time that so easily brings out wonder and joy as well as sorrow and tears? I find myself pondering this thought while I sit here, nose against the grindstone and gazing wistfully out my window at the icy world beyond. 

I know of no other time when you can feel the spirit so strong all around you. It is infectious and everyone who celebrates this time of year can sense that this time, of all times, is different. More acts of kindness are shown, more thoughts of charity, forgiveness and love. The world becomes, even just for a few weeks, a better place. They call it the spirit of the season. Amongst the hustle of shoppers, parties, and heavy traffic, people’s hearts are softened as their thoughts turn to the child whose birth we celebrate.

 For this reason we feel a sense of joy and exultation. Hope fills us and we look forward to the future with greater faith and trust.

But, during this time, there are many whose hearts are not lightened, and whose eyes do not sparkle with the magic everywhere. They are laden down with sorrows and pains of the world. They feel the ache of memories of times past. They are lonely. They are sick. They are captured by a darkness that seeks to destroy them. Perhaps this is why I feel both sorrow and joy? Perhaps this is why my heart is heavy with emotion. 

I cannot help but think of at least 20 families who will not feel the joy of this season easily. Whose hearts are broken and are yearning for peace at this time. Forever the memory of that day will haunt them each season, and oh how my soul aches for them. 

I think of the men and women across the seas who are not surrounded by family, but instead by horrors only the depraved can imagine. They pay the ultimate sacrifice as they stand strong and defend their loved ones. My heart sings to them across the miles, begging that grace and light can shine upon them and bring them a moment of joy. 

So many souls are lost. So many hearts are weighed down. Perchance I am more in-tune with these souls at this time, because I am more in-tune with the God of us all? Maybe I am feeling His own sorrow as He watches the tragedies of this world brought about by evil men? Men which our Father gives the right of agency; the right to choose their own path, whether good or evil. How His heart must sorrow at the wrong decisions the world is making. 

So much darkness. The night presses ever forward while it seems there are less rays of light. Fewer people who will stand amidst the cloud and bring joy to the world. As we approach, I fear, a new era, what will become of this world? Will there arise enough good hearts to stem the tide of hate and greed? 

As the air grows still, and my heart grows heavy, my soul cries out to my God on high. I cry for comfort, I cry for hope. I cry for a change that seems forever elusive… 

How interesting, that in my reverie my mind is turned to that night…long ago, during a similar time of darkness. A time of straying souls and cold steel hearts, a time of a world crying out…for a savior.

And what wonder it is…that our Father above heard their cries, and sent His only Begotten Son to the Earth. Lower than all, so He may understand all. Perfect and holy, the light to the world. Born was He. The King of Kings. Lord of Lords. Our wonderful, counselor, Savior and Redeemer. The Prince of Peace. 

He came to this world and descended below all, that whosoever would come unto Him and follow Him, would be partakers of His saving grace. He truly was the answer to His people’s prayers, as He is the answer to my prayers today. He is the answer to every heart and plea. Whether the world knows it or not, the Light that came still shines upon us all, and will come again. Forever our hope and forever our peace. 

I pray, with all the energy of my being that during this time peace will fall upon all yearning hearts. I pray we may all be stirred to remember the reason for this season. The source of the “magic in the air” is not in the lights, the presents or the jingling of bells. It comes from deep within us, a quiet reminder within our hearts that our spirits’ know who is watching over us all. 

Merry Christmas.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Victory or Defeat?

What is the difference between success and failure; between achieving and falling short? What makes a person a victor? What makes a person a failure? It all starts the same; a dream, a goal, a competition, a challenge. Most intentions to succeed are the same. No one wants to fail…do they? But along the road, along the journey, what separates the victors and the weak; the “boys from men” so to say?

No one person’s journey is the same. From birth we are handed a unique set of cards and as life enfolds we begin to play our hand. We have opportunities to collect, and dispose of some of these cards. For some people, the game becomes extremely difficult and they never can seem to get the upper hand. For others, although the game was rough and trying they have persevered and achieved with the cards they were dealt. Still some have an easy game throughout and of these a few achieve, few lock into stalemate and others fail entirely. Each game is also unique. Each turnout is completely different. Again, what separates these winners and losers?

Philosophers, coaches and great speakers throughout time have contemplated on this subject and given feedback. Many of them including Thomas Jefferson, Theodore T. Hunger and Cicero believed that success is dependent entirely within you. That no one can bring success to your life but your own determination and fortitude; regardless of the hand that is dealt and the game that is played. You can overcome it all if you simply have that determination within.

“Keep steadily before you the fact that all true success depends at last upon yourself”-Theodore T. Hunger.

By our very natures we can be the means of our ascent to success or crash to failure. In our attitude, in our outlook, we can take whatever hand the game of life has dealt, and subsequently play any game life plays, and succeed. It isn’t so much about the luck of the draw. It is about the character and attitude of the person.

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”-Thomas Jefferson.

To many successful and well educated minds, success also depends on a degree of faith and belief. Yet, still this faith is developed from within one who has a strong mind and heart. It is said faith can move mountains. If you are a person of faith than it would follow you too could move mountains. It all comes down to your mind, your heart, your attitude. Every player in the game is given these three cards. But only the victors train and develop them to be the strongest in their hand.

The key to failure is simple. Stop trying. Stop growing. Stop overcoming. Those who fall down, cry at the unfair loses their life has dealt, and determine to no longer care, loose the game entirely. These are the whiners, complainers, lazy and annoyed. These are they who with much crying and ranting about their injustices, weaken their most valuable cards and rely on a dispensable and immobilizing hand. They rely on pity, self-indulgence, free handouts, and temporary means of gratification. Everyone I believe plays a card or two of these, but those elite quickly realize they will get nowhere, and so they trade them in.

The best supporting cards to heart, mind and attitude, are perseverance, knowledge, humility and faith. With this deck anything that the game throws you will be able to overcome. These cards are unlimited and only run out when you decide to stop playing them.

What are things that you want? What are the goals that, by achieving them, will make who the man or woman you want to be? Is it earning that degree? Is it having the strongest and most fit body you can possibly have? Is it success in a job or sport? Is it publishing a book, writing a concerto, or painting a work of art? No matter what it is success will come only with unwavering determination and strong courage with faith.

What is the secret to success?

It is you. It is your will and determination to overcome all obstacles. It is your attitude that there is no time like the present to be who you want to be and achieve all that you dream to achieve. It is your heart and faith that you can accomplish great things. It is your perseverance to get back up after every pitfall. It is your humility and open heart that will guide you on how to change. You are the key to your success.

Finally, there is one more essential piece in achieving success. We can do it but only if we lean on the ultimate victor. Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. Remember, Heavenly Father has put within each of us the spirit and heart to do difficult things. He expects us to stand up and work and do all that we can do. Please do not miss-understand and believe I think that without Him we can do anything. We really can’t. But He has given us the tools and ability to do for ourselves. Again His help does not come as free handouts. It comes as gifts or “cards” in our deck that we can use and develop. He will guide our hand as we let Him and He will help us develop our true potential. As we have faith in Him and in ourselves, we will overcome all.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Today

Today is the beginning of the rest of my life. Today is the moment I change my path and destiny, forever. Today is the day. Today I am who I’ve always wanted to be.

How different would our lives be if we lived every day in the moment, in the day, and to the very fullest? What if we truly just took it all “A day at a time”? What if we stopped letting our past dictate who we are today, and the future overwhelm us to the point of forfeit? What if we woke up each morning and decided that “Today I am going to be who I always wanted to be”?

Today I wanted to be the woman who woke up, made herself and her husband breakfast, snacks, and lunch for the day. Today I wanted to pray with my husband before we left for the day. Today I wanted to be on time to work. Today I wanted kiss my husband goodbye and with a happy smile. Today I wanted to be a great worker and clean up my “to do list”. Today I want to be smiling and excited when my husband picks me up. Today I want to work out and eat a healthy dinner. Today I want to read scriptures with my husband and end the day with prayer. Today I want to love more and hate less. Today I want to feel the spirit. Today I want to be the best possible me.

Does it matter if that is who I was yesterday? No. Does it matter if that is who I am tomorrow? No. It matters if I am that woman today. Today is what matters. Today is what counts. Every morning that my eyes open I have an opportunity to be whomever I want. I have the power to define who I am in this very moment. In this very today. Every night I lay my head down I want to smile knowing that today was not wasted. Today meant something. Today was a step toward my destiny.

I’m changing who I am. I’m changing the way I see my world. Yesterday matters no more. It is in the past. Tomorrow will take care of itself as long as I’m focusing on taking care of today. This moment is a gift. This life is a blessing. Who can I touch? What can I do? Who can I be? The possibilities are entirely endless. This moment is the key to forever. This is my journey. I am in control of who I am. It all begins today.

Friday, October 28, 2011

The Decision

You’re standing at the threshold, suspended in air, waiting the moment of fall...then something reaches out. It grasps you, catches you, holds you still for just a moment, and then slowly turns you elsewhere.

It is the moment of change. A second chance. A rebirth. From the moment you turn, a new life, unknown and untraveled, waits for your first steps. Fear grips you, and apprehension threatens to overwhelm you. Tempted, you almost look back, but that same “something” halts your head. There is no going back. You know this. That road leads to a long abyss. It leads nowhere. At the moment of what seemed to be destruction, you allowed yourself to be turned to a new path. This is your hour. This hour that determines the rest of your existence.

Your decision, has determined your destiny.

It will be scary, and you will make mistakes. There will be many possible turns, and countless opportunities to walk back the way you came. It won’t be easy. Sometimes you’ll seem to walk alone. Sometimes, you’ll doubt your choice. Don’t doubt. Don’t turn. You are no longer walking alone. Someone is there. He’s holding your hand, and He will carry you if you are weary. Keep following that “something. “ It turned you to Him.

After a while, you’ll know what saved you. You’ll recognize the “something.”

Joy awaits you. Joy you’ve never before known. Can you feel it calling? It’s already beginning to embrace you. Miracles thread there way throughout this path. You’ll discover beauty beyond your dreams. You’ll encounter angels, and kings. You’ll find sanctuaries. You’ll find home. Trust me. I’ve seen them. Trust Him. He’s made them with His hands. They’re waiting for you, and you’re on your way to embracing all.

Do you know what it is yet? Do you recognize the “something”?

Inside you’ve felt the stirring. It was painful at first, you turned away from it. You were scared. Then slowly, over time, He touched you here and there. He was there. Watching. Waiting patiently. You began to be open. The loneliness of where you were overpowered the fear of what laid ahead. You allowed it to reach you. You allowed it to save you. You had faith. You had courage. You let it turn you, and you trusted.

You know what it is now. You’ve always know, because it’s always been there.

Love.

Love of a King who knew your pain, and suffered for you. He suffered with you. He was waiting for you to see Him. Hear Him. He saved you. His love saved you from the fall. He knows you. No reason to hide, no reason to fear. He’s never going to let you go, just hold onto Him. Hold Him...You’re His. He ransomed you. For your sake, He gave all. Don’t fear Him, just trust Him.

Every time your knees touch the ground, His love will touch you. Every time you cry, His ears will hear you. Every time you laugh, He will smile with you. In darkness, His light will be yours. In light, He will provide it all. Let Him be your source of strength, and you’ll discover this destiny...He will crown you His.