Letter To A Friend

I wrote a letter to my friend this morning...I feel I have to share a good part of it on my blog.

"I can't believe that I've been here for a month now...time has rushed by so quickly, and yet in the same breath I can say that this has been such a full and eventful month. It's crazy! I thought and knew that things would be different here, but I had no idea the extent. It's almost a 180 switch from Florida.

I know it may sound corny but, I feel like a new person here. Not really different...just new. Like I was a piece of tarnished silver that someone took a cloth to and made it gleam again. I don't feel weary and worn anymore...I feel light. I feel free.

I'm glad that you can sense that. This woman you see now is more of the woman I use to be. The happy, upbeat and positive individual who has a zest for life. Of course, I will forever be different than who I once was. I know I'll never truly be able to go back to the times where I was a hopeless romantic...one who saw the world in an unshaded light.

No. I'll never be her again. Experience has taught and calloused me. I will always be hard...yet I realize that I can feel, deep down, I'm soft underneath it all. That gives me so much hope and happiness.

Happiness...what a beautiful word. I'm happy, and it comes from me, no one else. I feel an inner sense of peace right now. There is a light within me that radiates joy through my soul. I've never felt this before...I wish I could share the feeling.

The Lord is good...so good. Not only has he stood by m y side through my darkest nights, but he has lifted me into the sunrise again. I'm overwhelmed by the blessings he's pouring down upon me. I couldn't ask for anything more.

When I wake up...part of me wants to just throw my window open and inhale the morning air. Inhale my new life. Is it possible to truly find the healing balm of Gilead in a place such as this? I don't hurt anymore Mi...that pain is only a shadowy memory of my past. It no longer saturates my every thought...no longer poison's my weary soul. It makes me want to weep in relief and joy.

I am free. Finally I am free.

...

I had this thought come to me the other day...it's a bit poetic and dramatic, but it describes one of my deepest feelings and understandings.
'In the darkness of night,
truth becomes clear...
And in the silence you hear
What lies underneath.'
I believe to truly understand ourselves, we must loose ourselves. Let go of what we can see, and take that leap into the unknown. Turn off our own ideas and allow the truth buried within us to come forth...and often it is in our darkest moments, when we feel the most alone, that we discover who we really are.

I am on that journey."

I think that says it all.